Sarah Turnham Weddings and Events

Blame

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 12:28:59 +0100

Always assume that all suppliers you use are unlikely to do everything that you have asked, that way you won’t be disappointed! No seriously, I can guarantee that at least one supplier will not do everything that you have asked. So how do you minimise this happening?

Make sure that you have a clear schedule of what you expect from each supplier. They will be grateful for it and you will have some comeback if they don’t do what was agreed. Ideally have someone there that has a copy of what you expect and what needs to be done and by who. If you hire an on the day coordinator they can help you to plan a schedule of tasks and can go through with you what you expect of each supplier.

After an event many suppliers will be very quick to blame someone else as they will not want to take responsibility for any problems, this can sometimes not be a pleasant experience. So it’s best to assume that your suppliers may not be as on the ball as you would like and make sure that they have a complete schedule of what you expect.

Focus

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 16:39:00 +0100

Many apologies for a lack in blog posts in the past few weeks. To be honest I am pregnant and have been feeling rather sick all of the time, so I have had to let some things slide and just do what I can! But I am beginning to feel vaguely better, week 14 so hopefully this is the pregnancy ‘honeymoon period’ everyone talks about!

There I go planning my pregnancy around the wedding season (due in February), only to feel sick at the height of it! Oh well focus that was the key, all my weddings have gone to plan so far this year (touch wood), just by focusing all my strength and energy on my bookings! They have also all managed to have good weather (pretty surprising considering the weather this year!), so clearly something is working in my favour.

I think the same applies for when you are planning your own wedding though, you need to focus on what is important and concentrate all of your energy on getting the parts of your wedding right that are important to you. You also need to focus on how you want your wedding day to look as a whole and see the bigger picture, visualise it and see what is really important. Try to not get distracted by other people’s opinions and focus on what it is you both want as a couple. It is very easy to lose sight of what is really important and what you visualise for your wedding if everyone else is clouding your vision with their own ideas. Keep the focus on what you both want, visualise it and stick to it!

Happy wedding planning

Be yourself or be perfect for your wedding day?

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 19:27:38 +0100

Nobody and nothing can be perfect, but everyone wants their wedding day to be perfect and for themselves to be perfect on their big day.

So do the two mix? How do peoples expectations of the day that they have, in some cases been thinking of for their whole life, match up to reality and possibility?

Unfortunately in so many cases people want to change themselves in order to make the two match up:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2175586/Brides-say-I-plastic-surgery-The-women-resorting-worrying-extremes-look-perfect-big-day.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2178236/My-Big-Fat-Bottomed-Wedding-quarter-dieting-brides-say-big-day-RUINED-failed-lose-weight-wedding.html

Your wedding day does not need to be perfect, nor can it be. Try to relax, and yes try to aim for perfection, but don’t get hung up having to meet your expectations.

Weddings, weather and worrying!

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:54:08 +0100

This is a very difficult and particularly unpredictable summer for weather, which has caused a huge headache for many brides getting married.

I had a meeting earlier this week for a wedding later this summer where the reception is due to be in a marquee outside, with a drinks reception outside before the wedding breakfast. What to do? Cut out the drinks reception and allow guest to go into the marquee earlier, which would obviously require preparing the caterers first! Or try to provide some cover outside the marquee? All you can do is make preparations for both options and hope for sunshine!

The current weather may cause some interesting situations, but all you can do is make the most of it and prepare the best you can. It’s what we British do best isn’t it? Picnics in the car or wrapped up on the beach in a blanket because it’s cold and you will enjoy your holiday! Take this wedding party taking it all in their stride for example http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2175369/Newlyweds-pose-wedding-photos-wellies-refuse-let-flooding-Hotel-Felix-Cambridge-dampen-spirits.html

Weddings, Law and the Church

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:12:42 +0100

The current law is gradually following society, gay marriages are legal and weddings can now be held at any time. But will (and should) the church ever follow suit?

C of E churches seem adamant that they will not offer ceremonies at any time of the day http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2012/6-july/news/uk/wedding-hours-change-will-not-apply-to-c-of-e

But many churches now seem to be sympathetic and willing to perform gay ceremonies, politicians are even backing the right for churches to perform ceremonies if they wish http://www.standard.co.uk/comment/we-should-allow-gay-weddings-in-church-7915437.html

So will both eventually follow in line with changes to the law and in society? And should they? Or should they stay traditional?

Weddings at any time

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 09:30:00 +0100

After the fantastic news that weddings now can take place at any time http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18662920

Many couples will now be able to be less restricted on what they choose for their wedding. I have had a number of couples who love light, lanterns, candles and fireworks. So they want a candlelight wedding, but also want a summer wedding. The two just don’t work in this country….until now!

It’s fantastic that people can finally get married when they want, but it’s not without its problems! For example, if you plan on lighting the aisle with candles, make sure you don’t set light to your wedding dress! Also make sure you choose a photographer who has experience shooting in dark or low light conditions. It is much more difficult and takes a skilled photographer to get great photographs in low light conditions, make sure that you see examples of their work in these conditions. It also relies on finding a venue to hold your wedding when you want to!

Hopefully next laws will be relaxed on open air weddings (although in the current weather conditions that could be risky!).

Can you afford to get married?

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 09:59:35 +0100

With the cost of the average wedding being equivalent to the cost of a deposit for a house many couples are choosing to set up in a home rather than get married (or at least postpone a wedding for a few years). After all what good is a wedding if you are still living with parents or homeless?

But a wedding doesn’t have to cost that much. Set a budget to what you can afford and stick to it! That doesn’t mean that you can’t have what you want, just carefully plan what you want and what is most important to you. Without knowing what is most important and least important how will you now know where you are willing to compromise?

Make sure that you then draw up a budget for each area of your wedding (be realistic and look at how much things cost first!). For the items that are slightly higher priced, try negotiating with suppliers. If you know your budget for that item, then you know how much you need to negotiate. If you are uncomfortable negotiating and don’t know where to start with a budget, consider hiring a wedding planner, who may be able to offer you a rate for just budgeting and negotiation.

Try looking at my earlier blog post on how to save money on your wedding for more hints and tips.

Put yourself first

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 09:50:01 +0100

So many Brides are too nice! I know this is a contradiction to the usual Bridezilla impression, but you really do need to put yourself for at least one day in your life. You don’t need to become a Bridezilla, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t come first.

For example if you are sharing a bathroom with 10 bridesmaids, make sure that you can get in when you want to! Even if you have to do a rota, just make sure you can do everything you want to, when you need to do it. After all you are more important than all of your friends on this day (even if you are usually the quiet one!).

Take care of yourself

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 00:00:00 +0100

I see so many Brides too nervous and excited to eat on their wedding day (personally I was eating takeaway pizza while having my hair done, but I am told by my hairdresser I am the exception to the rule!).

Although you may not feel like it, you must make sure that you look after yourself and eat properly on your wedding day. If you are hungry (even if you don’t feel hungry) you will not be able to concentrate and enjoy your day. You may also have much less patience if anything goes wrong.

You also need to make sure you aren’t tired. I would therefore recommend that you do not go on your hen night in the week before the wedding. I would also recommend that you try not to be at the venue too late the day before doing any finishing touches. If possible try to get an early night, as you may wake up early the next morning (or may need to, to get ready in time). It’s a bit like Christmas x10 at least! It might be difficult to sleep, as you may be excited or thinking about the day ahead too much, but try to rest nevertheless. Even if you don’t sleep this rest will be beneficial to your wellbeing.

Your wedding day can be tiring and stressful at the best of times, so you must give yourself the best chance possible of dealing with any eventualities.

Today is my Wedding Anniversary, shhhh Hubby is still sleeping! ...

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 08:28:24 +0100

Today is my Wedding Anniversary, shhhh Hubby is still sleeping! I wasn’t going to write a blog post today for obvious reasons, but then I have been thinking of our wedding and the past two years, quite a lot over the past couple of days. Yesterday someone said to me how perfect our wedding was, to which I laughed. I did my best to make it the perfect day, but that just isn’t possible! There are too many things that can go wrong, too many other people involved who treat it as any other day.

The biggest thing that I would love to go back and change though, would be to enjoy the day more. Before my wedding quite a few people said to us, just make sure you enjoy your day as it will go by very quickly. Despite knowing this information, it still went by so quickly and felt like no time at all. So one of my biggest tips for your wedding day…..make sure you make the most of every second.

Congratulations Luke and Rebecca. What a beautiful wedding and...

Wed, 30 May 2012 19:17:55 +0100

Congratulations Luke and Rebecca. What a beautiful wedding and a beautiful reception venue. Flaxbourne Gardens was such a magical location, helped immensely by superb weather all day!

The marquee was stunningly decorated in Purple and Ivory by the couples family and friends, helping them to keep their wedding within a strict budget.

http://flaxbournegarden.co.uk/

Whatever the weather

Wed, 23 May 2012 17:43:41 +0100

Congratulations to all of the people getting married this weekend! One of my Brides is getting married this weekend and I was so pleased when the weather forecast changed for the better (not least because I won’t have to run between ceremony and reception venues in the rain!), I can’t imagine how pleased the Bride and Groom are!

I always have a number of clear umbrellas available for if it rains, but it is always better not to use them!

Make sure though that you always consider that the weather could go either way when you are planning months in advance. For example, if you are having a summer wedding and are planning a chocolate cake (or even chocolate decorations), make sure that it can be kept cold enough until it is needed. Also if you are planning any outside involvement (this could simply be having to move from a ceremony to a reception venue), make sure that you have enough umbrellas for the key people (or make sure that you hire an on the day coordinator that does!

Research...then book

Wed, 16 May 2012 18:39:47 +0100

Always do your research first and try to avoid making decisions without considering a number of options first. If you are worried that you may lose a venue or supplier, ask if they will pencil you in and let you know if they have any other enquiries for that date. Most suppliers are usually willing to hold the date for a least a couple of weeks to allow you time to carefully consider your options. If a supplier is reluctant to do this, they may not be as reputable as you thought and may be trying to pressure you into making a decision. Never feel like you have to make a decision straight away, if a supplier needs to pressure you into booking with them do you really want to book with them? The chances are they are probably pressuring you because they need the work. Therefore they are unlikely to be booked if you decide you do still want to book them and go back to them a few weeks later.

Make sure you have considered all of your requirements, preferable before you start looking, but always before you book somewhere. Looking at unsuitable venues and suppliers will not only be a waste of time, it will also waste your money if you have paid a deposit.

When you have booked, make sure that you have the booking in writing. This gives you both security that the date is booked. Most wedding insurances companies will also not pay out if you do not have the booking in writing.

Does what you plan to happen actually happen?

Wed, 09 May 2012 17:37:50 +0100

Expect and prepare for no one to do what you have asked them to do. This may be because people forget what you have asked them, or they don’t realise how important it is, or they think they know best!

Make sure you re-iterate to everyone involved in your wedding what is important to you. This does not make you a Bridezilla (ok maybe a little bit!), but if you explain in the right way, people will understand. Make sure that you ask and confirm clearly and calmly. If necessary re-confirm all the arrangements in the week before, making sure to re-iterate the important points (you may need to let some of the smaller requests slide, so that you can make sure that the important points get heard).

Make sure that someone else also knows what is important to you and can make sure that what you have requested happens. This can be one of your bridesmaids, close friends or a family member. Alternatively hire an on the day wedding coordinator, my prices start from £250 and can be an affordable way for you to make sure that all of your wishes and worries are taken care of.

Men are equal?

Wed, 02 May 2012 18:47:03 +0100

Not sure how much involvement your man should have? Many Grooms want to be a big part of the wedding day (and why not they are half of the couple!), but many Brides are either surprised by this or don’t feel that they know enough about weddings, most girls have been thinking about their wedding day for as long as they can remember, right? How long have boys been thinking about it?!

This can leave many Grooms feeling left out, while this may be what some men want (and if both the Bride and Groom are happy with that then that’s fine), it isn’t necessarily what they all want. So be careful not to assume that your man doesn’t want to be involved in the planning process!

Also, Grooms, speak up if you want to be more involved! Make sure your voice is heard, you thoughts and opinions are valid.

How do you want your wedding to look?

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:56:32 +0100

Try to decide how you want your wedding to look and what is most important to you before making decisions about which venue to choose or which table decorations to have.

If you make decisions or buy everything when you see it, you may decide at a later date that your ideas don’t fit together. Consider what overall look you would like to achieve and then consider if these decisions fit in with your overall ideas.

If you are on a budget, making snap decisions without thinking about how you would like everything may end up costing more money. You should also consider do I really need it? Does it add anything to the day? If the answer to these questions is no, then you are probably wasting your money.

This is why I try to start any wedding planning session with ideas and themes. I also offer people the opportunity to try just my ideas and themes before committing to a full or bespoke wedding planning. Prices start from just £100 for one set of themes and ideas focused on your interests and personalities. Sometimes it may be all you need to focus your mind on what it is you want from your wedding day.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 19:49:36 +0100

Making decisions for your wedding day can sometimes be really difficult. You may therefore, choose to ask the opinions of your family and friends, or involve them in your discussions.

While this may occasionally help your decision making (particularly if everyone agrees) it can also hinder it (usually when people don’t agree). Make sure you consider if you are prepared to have a number of different opinions, or whether the opinions of you and your partner are the only ones that matter?

Also, consider that once you start asking people’s opinions, they may then expect you to keep asking and become more involved than you had first intended. I’m not saying don’t involve family and friends, just always make sure you consider the full consequences of your actions.

It's a marathon not a sprint

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:33:49 +0100

Some people find everything you need to do to plan a wedding daunting, some find it exciting (some both!), either can make it tempting to try and tick off everything on their list as quickly as possible. Unless you only have a couple of months to plan your wedding this really isn’t necessary.

While it might seem like a great idea at the time to get everything done as quickly as necessary, it isn’t. For a couple of reasons, firstly it’s a good idea to savour the planning process and take time enjoying being engaged and planning your big day. Secondly, you are putting yourself under a lot of unnecessary pressure and can easily make a mistake!

Take a step back and plan your big day over a longer period of time, take advice from people who have planned a wedding before and/or wedding magazines about what to do first. If you still aren’t sure where to start and what to do first, arrange a free consultation with a friendly wedding planner, such as me, email sarah@sarahturnhamweddings.com

Wedding, big or small?

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 10:01:32 +0100

Ok, so you can’t decide whether to have a large wedding or go very low key and small? Well obviously cost is an issue, if you haven’t got the budget for a large wedding, then having lots of guest just isn’t going to work! Equally if you have a huge family and a large group of friends, do you want to have to cull the list to scale down to a small wedding?

These issues aside, in terms of looking for a venue, don’t think smaller is always easier and better. It can be more difficult to find a small venue than it is to find a bigger one. Most venues are used to catering for around 100 people, if you try to scale this down to below 50 for example, your choice of venue not only diminishes, but changes into a completely different type of venue. Write your guest list before your venue search, but always keep in mind what you want and if it would be possible to scale your wedding down or even up.

DIY Weddings

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 19:38:10 +0100

Creating items for your big day is a fantastic cost saving method and means that you can put your own personal stamp on the big day, especially if you or your friends and family are talented in a particular field. This is definitely something you should consider, but be careful what and how much you choose to do.

Take for example the flowers, I used to work in a florist and, while I am not professionally trained, I am able to make buttonholes and very simple bouquets. There is no way however that I would make them for my own wedding or any of my close friends and family. The reason for this is, first off it is very stressful making something that needs to be so perfect for someone you are close to and second of all, flowers need to be made very close to the wedding day to keep them fresh. The bride and her close relatives and friends are already busy with other preparations and will not have time to make things at the last minute (not without some very stressful situations!).

Make sure if you do chose to make something for your wedding (or that of a relative or friend) that it is something that can be made well in advance of the big day. You will have plenty to do the week before the wedding and on the wedding day itself!